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2:47 pm
August 6, 2009
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SM Shawn
| | Green Bay, WI | |
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Most of us that read this forum have a boy either in the Cubs, Boy Scouts, or Venturing. Being that a lot of us are leaders, does that have any bearing on how your son acts at Den Meetings, Pack Meetings/Outings, or Camps?
If so, how do you deal with it?
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Host of the True North Podcast
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4:09 pm
August 6, 2009
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scoutmasterjerry
| | Troutdale, OR | |
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No… it really has no bearing. This may sound harsh.. but my two sons are just another Scout when it comes to Troop meetings and camp outs.
They get no special treatment.. still have to earn everything they get.. and are part of a Patrol.
They camp with their patrol, they eat with their Patrol, they hang out with their patrol.
They do not get tucked in.. they are not hanging out in the Scoutmasters area in the evening.. they are just Scouts.
They do make it a point to come and say good night.. but then it's off to their patrol area.
They are expected to act like all the other Scouts.. and they do. They are teen agers and so they act like teen agers… read what you want into that.
Bottom line .. I love them.. but treat them (and they are treated by the ASMs the same way) like any other Scout when we are in tan.
Have a Great Scouting Day!
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5:40 pm
August 6, 2009
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johneegeek
| | Kenosha, WI | |
| PTC Tiger | posts 15 |
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I've found that sometimes it actually effects me more than my son. I find that I give him the OPPOSITE of preferential treatment.
For example, I sometimes do a surprise uniform "check" for my Cub Scouts and give the 'best dressed' a little prize. One such time I chose a winner, even though my son was probably the best dressed. I did not pick him. (He's my son, he should be the best dressed ;)… When I got home my son was very upset and asked me, almost crying: "Dad? How come I never win."
That's when I realized that by trying NOT to give him special treatment, I actually treat him worse than the other kids.
Since then, I try to just treat him as just another Scout.
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John Kiernan, Cubmaster – Pack 567 – Kenosha, WI
www.nashpack567.org
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7:12 pm
August 6, 2009
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Nick the UK GSL
| | Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire, UK | |
| PTC Boy Scout | posts 146 |
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Speaking from a son's point of view. My Dad was always very fair with me and never showed me any preference nor was too hard on me.
This compares with contemporaries of mine whose Dad was the Assistant Scout Leader as he was always too hard on his sons and rarely did a camp go by where there wasn't a major argument between the ASL and his sons – not good and not the way to do it.
I think my parents (both Cub Leaders) got it right!
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Nick Wood –
Group Scout Leader
1st Stoke-on-Trent & Newcastle, St. Andrews Porthill, UK
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12:22 pm
August 7, 2009
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smwalker_oh
| | Middletown, Ohio | |
| PTC Star Scout | posts 592 |
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Hm. Maybe it's just me then. Because i find that generally when a boy is being rowdy in a den meeting, it's usually my son or the Den Leader's son, or the son of a parent who has decided to stay with us for the whole meeting. If it was just my son, I would think I was being hypersensitive to his behavior, which I admit sometimes my kids distract or annoy me by doing things that other adults I'm with at the time don't even notice.
My son knows that he is a scout and is going to be treated the same as all the other scouts. To help with this, when we have an outing the leaders switch off responsibilities. So if it is a den meeting I am responsible for the den leader's son, and the DL is responsible for mine. It seems to work pretty well.
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PT – Pack 19 Middletown
CR/CC – Pack, Troop & Crew 801 Middletown
MC, Packs 321, 418 & 468, Middletown
Hopewell District Cub Roundtable Commissioner
Hopewell 2011 Fall Recruitment Coordinator – Middletown
Dan Beard Council Certified Trainer
GSWO NOVA #449 Service Unit Camping Coordinator
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5:07 pm
August 7, 2009
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Scouter_Garry
| | SATX | |
| PTC Boy Scout | posts 106 |
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I know I frustrate my son by being Chairman. Back when I was the Bear Den leader. He didn't pay much attention to his book and things we did were signed off as they happened. When he became a Webelos, that all changed. If we work on stuff in his book he has to document each requirement so the Webelos Den Leader can sign off on it. That really frustrated him to begin with.
We eventually had a talk about being trustworthy and my take on why he had to document the requirements. I explained that yes we are both trustworthy and no one who knew us would question that he had done the work. Yet to make sure our honor was unquestionable we needed to provide the paperwork or proof that we/ he had completed the requirement. We also talked about natural double standards that oocur. How the police are held to higher standards than the general public. Police should always be trustworthy, healthy, good shots, level headed, etc. Yet the average person can be morbidly obese, not able to hit the broad side of a barn with a firearm, and unable to manage their anger. It's not fair but its that way. So as a scout and as a leader's son he's held to a different standard. It's not fair but it's that way. He still doesn't like it, but he does accept it.
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9:35 am
August 8, 2009
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scoutmasterjerry
| | Troutdale, OR | |
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Good point Garry.
No matter how we treat our sons.. I would like to applaud each and every one of you for taking the time to be an active part in his life. No matter how he feels he is being treated.. the memories that you and he are building are priceless. Some of my best memories are of my dad and I doing the "Scout thing" when I was a young boy. Love it.
Have a Great Scouting Day!
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10:34 am
August 19, 2009
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Mr Wil
| | Port St John, FL | |
| PTC Tiger | posts 15 | |
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SM Walker- you are not alone! I found that my boys were both at the root of some of the distractions at meetings. My wife was the oldest son's DL and I was CM for 3.5 years. All of the other DLs have "issues" form time to time as well, some worse than others
After reminders on the way to meetings eventually they both got the message that they were just like the other boys in the unit when we were at meetings. Now that I have passed the CM torch and my youngest son is a Bear he is much more respectful towards pack leaders, not an angel but much better than some.  my wife is now the ADL for his den.
I am an ASM for our oldest son's troop and I try my best to take an almost a hands off approach with him because I don't want to disrupt his development in Scouting. He is treated the same as the other boys when we are "in tan". I went to summer camp with the troop this summer (his and my first), I asked him to let me know if was being "dad" too much and I would back off if necessary. He complemented me and thanked me Wednesday evening on the ride back from whitewater rafting on how I was letting him do his own thing.
+1 to Jerry's comment on the memories..my fondest of my dad are from Cub Scouts and Indian Guides campouts. I hope the same holds true for my sons, I know some of my fondest memories with them are of scouting.
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Wil Henzmannn – WEBELOS Dad – Second Class Dad, Assistant Scoutmaster Troop 355 Sharpes, FL
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2:24 pm
August 26, 2009
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Kris
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It's interesting because neither my husband or I have direct contact with my son in the Pack. Hubby is CM and only deals with the kids on an as needed basis or at Pack Meetings/events. I'm the Lion Pride Leader and Dan is a Webelos 2 so we don't interact at all. I think I annoyed one (of the many) leaders that ran his den at one point with all my suggestions but I don't think that it has ever impacted Dan. My older son, the Star Scout, is totally free from our intervention. We step up to help out when needed but we aren't in leadership positions. Hubby has gone on 1 or 2 campouts with him but no one really complained. I haven't had the opportunity (someone has to work while the others play!) to go on a campout with the troop.
One interesting note is that my oldest & hubby are in the process of preparing for a Philmont Trek next summer. They have started doing ALOT more together. It hasn't impacted Sean's rank advancement at all (he's still not going anywhere fast!…course, he is only 13). But, at the same time, hubby is expecting the whole adventure is going to change their over-all relationship.
Thinking back to when I was in Girl Scouts with my mom as leader…. I was a PAIN! (same deal when she was my art teacher at school too!) I think it's a rough place for mother/father & son/daughter to be….ESPECIALLY if the kid is an only child. But in the end, I really think its worth it. Hubby is an Eagle Scout and did most of it on his own so he doesn't have fond parental memories connected with scouts, but he does remember the season or 2 that dad coached soccer.
I can only hope that my kids have fond memories of the scouting years and not nightmares of ALWAYS being dragged to yet another scouting event. Better yet, I hope they end up stellar citizens because of all that scouting teaches them.
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7:07 pm
August 26, 2009
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SM Shawn
| | Green Bay, WI | |
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| posts 483 |
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I only had issues the Tiger year with my oldest, and looking back, don't think that it was "leader's kid" syndrome…he was just a 6 year old boy. 2 of my 3 boys are in scouts, with the 3rd eargerly waiting…and we make good memories…
I don't think that will change, we have fun and talk about the memories that we have made at camp…
So, no LKS here [Leader's Kid Syndrome]
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Host of the True North Podcast
Co-Host of Scout Nation
Scoutmaster
Dad and Husband…
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